You look nervous, insecure, or lame when...
Here are some non-verbal cues that you're uncomfortable or even nervous when talking to someone. These THREE non-verbal cues often make it seem like you lack confidence or are insecure. Combat these non-verbals and be cognitively aware of what you are communicating.
1. Do NOT touch your face or mouth while you talk. For example, if you're chewing or you think your breath is bad, do not cover your mouth to hide it because you're drawing MORE attention to yourself. Take smaller bites, eat some gum, or scootchy scootch back nonchalantly if your breath is bad.
2. Lack of eye contact is a no no. We all know this, but are you implementing it. Where were you looking in that conversation? Were you looking at the floor? Their hair? Their... Wherever you were looking, it wasn't the right place. You need to maintain eye contact. Just don't give them a stare down, make sure to look away every so often so you don't seem creepy.
3. Wherever your shoulders or knees are facing shows some level of interest. It's just like what you learned at basketball camp when you were 10... SQUARE UP! Not interest as in "I want you I need you" but interest in conversing with the person. So, if you want to hear more about the person, or are enjoying the person in teh slightest, try with your best ability to point your shoulders and knees toward the person. Sometimes you're sitting side-by-side or in a circle so that makes things difficult, however... try your best to be facing and concentrating on the person you are conversing with.
If you DO NOT want to talk to someone, you can use these three cues to your benefit because IF the person is smart (has communication competence), they're get the picture, and leave you be. If not... welp, Then, you're just that gorgeous.
When conversing remember: FOCUS.