Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Physical Expectations

If you have gone on a few dates with a guy, or even one... and HE pays... are you expected to "put out"?
(disclaimer: the meaning of "put out" can mean a variety of things depending on your view of dating and sex, in this context to keep the blog PG rated, we will consider it kissing)

Research has been done on First Date Sexual Expectations. Research among college students shows (Emmers-Sommer, 2010) that when a man pays for dinner and a movie, the man generally has sexual expectations, and the woman an understanding of general social expectations (whether she agrees with it or not). Research also shows that even if a WOMAN pays for dinner and a movie, that the man still generally has sexual expectations because he thinks, "Heck, she liked me this much, of course she wants me." Before you think all men are pigs, the reason this is generally too could be for a couple reasons. First, women... are you "putting out" to make their expectations generally accurate, AND remember, men think of sex more and differently than women do (this was not stated in the Emmers-Sommer research, strictly RG). Oh yea, and one last thing. The same research study showed that men especially have sexual expectations if a woman goes to their home on the first date.
Research shows that if the bill is split 50/50 women finally aren't expected to give anything physical in return... Research indicates that GENERALLY when a couple splits the tab men see the relationship as "just friends" but women think they might possibly be in the running for at least a little smoochy pooh.

The reason I bring this up... is ladies, don't let general research, or social and perceived "expectations" guide your behavior. If you don't want to kiss the guy, don't kiss him. You should not feel that just because he bought you dinner that you are EXPECTED based on some set of social guidelines to thank him with your body. If you don't want to, don't. However, be aware of these expectations so that you are not leading a guy on or giving him the wrong impression.
Be both aware and confident in your dating endeavors.
Don't give in, just because you feel pressure.

"Pressure: It can turn a lump of coal to a flawless diamond OR an average person into a perfect Basket-case."

IF someone sings you this song:
That doesn't mean you have to dance with them to it.

Rules Girl

*Research: Emmers-Sommer "First Date Expectations" 2010


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