Rule #7: If you don't love him anymore...

THEN LEAVE THE POOR GUY ALONE!!!!!
Ian Axel said it nicely with this song...


If you don't love/like the guy anymore... let the poor guy loose. Let him move on. Make a clean split, say goodbye... go hurt because your lonely, but let him be.

XOXO
Rules Girl

Shhhhhhhhhhhhh don't tell

You're not supposed to tell boys about THE RULES.

ESPECIALLY not the ones you're dating or WANT to date...
why? A. they might be an unbeliever of some sort... and B. you don't tell the opposing team your strategy!

credibility statement: I clearly made this up out of thin air...

Group 1: The Unbelievers
They think you're crazy and high maintenance with way too high of expectations when it comes to dating. (they may also be lazy or non-committal, but let's give them the benefit of the doubt and just call them unbelievers) The reason they think this way is they don't understand themselves and have never dated a guy before. Thankfully for us, there are few of these.
Group 2: The Cowards
The kind that aren't quite sure and will never admit that they like to be the man. They haven't quite come to terms with their "Role" in the whole dating game. Sometimes these kind laugh at the rules, even though they know that they wish the girl would do it...these kind are really annoying. These are often "players". ick. Unfortunately, there are quite a few of these ones.
Group 3: The Chosen
These are our favorites. These ones are aware of how the dating game goes and wish girls would actually live by them but would NEVER tell the girl they like this fact or HOW to live The Rules (they would only tell their girlfriends, therefore... me). These are your best guy friends (but not guycessories) that will be completely honest with you about how it all works...they're the best ones to talk to about such things. HOWEVER, that doesn't mean you need to tell them all the rules. You can however utilize them for your personal research and analysis. Watch they way they date girls, why they end up breaking up with them... you'll see what I mean... They are The Rules Girls CHOSEN. baha.

shhhh keep our secrets between you and me.

XOXO
Rules Girl
ok let's be real, I don't care if you tell... I'm just sayin' sometimes they don't quite get it or get the wrong idea. Might as well keep your strategies to yourself...oh and clearly these groupings are generic and partially untrue, but again... you know what I'm sayin'.

Rule # 4: Do not claim territory that is not your own

You really need to stop "claiming" these guys as your territory, because they aren't yours to be claimed until you've gone on at LEAST a couple dates with them if not more, even then... claiming is weird. Just because he has struck your fancy, doesn't mean that he's YOURS and no other girl can talk, date, or smooch the guy.
Rules Girls are more like Lewis and Clark. We explore, we take our pal Sacajawea... but we aren't the one's claiming anything. See look they're checkin' stuff out.
Not like Governor Ratcliffe (remember him from Pocahontas?) We know how that ended up... boo.
Far too often girls have this weird claim on a guy, even if they barely talk to him. Then if a friend talks to him or gets asked out by him, they get all razzed. Well honey-buns, take it easy... breathe a little because he's not your prize to be wanted*. He's fair game until you're smoochin' or at least have been on a few dates with the guy. Then it's common-girl-sense to back off...
Rules Girls are not jealous creatures, we have a healthy emotional-logical balance of dating and of life (majority of the time, we all have wig-outs). We recognize that if he's not asking us out, he's probs just not that into us. If he asks out our friend and she likes him we are a little sad inside but will be happy for them both because our turn will come, and there is always more land to be exploring (never discount Antarctica - metaphor intended).

You aren't Governor Ratcliffe, so take it easy and just be the Lewis & Clark you truly are...

XOXO
Rules Girl

*name that movie

Rule # 6,588: See him in all forms

When dating, it is pertinent that you see your lover in all forms before becoming some level of serious. My mom used to say, "before you decide anything, go shopping with him". She's a wise woman. I mean think about it.

Is this not a clear indicator of some important relational virtues? Patience for instance? How much money he's willing to spend on you (baha jk), how he gives compliments, how he whines... the list goes on and on... and on.
Another form in which you must see your man... is in a bad mood and angry...This is the least fun. You have to witness how they handle things, but even more scary... you should see how they are when mad at YOU, and one step further... how you FIGHT. yikes.
Third, you must travel with him. People are totally different on trips. Do they like to be in charge? Do they like to organize it all, or is that your thing? Do they like to go on vacations that are beachy or site-see-ey? Do they like to sleep in and you like to get up and get an early start?

Last and most importantly - your man must see you when you have a cold, and you must see how he handles it. Ya know, all snot-faced... tissues everywhere, eyes watering. No matter how hard you try, you just dont' have the energy to be cute. How did he treat you?


See them in all forms,

XOXO
Rules Girl

there are many many more forms of course... these are just a few. More could be: at the gym, around people you don't like, with kids, etc etc etc. What do you think?

Rule # 532 (2.0): Take it One DATE at a time...

Ok, so we've already covered the first aspect of this rule (see below)...
PART TWO is that if you have the tendency to be a "freak-out dater" and get a little anxious about dating then you need to follow Rule #532. (2.0) and just take it one date at a time. One THING at a time. Do not think about your children's names before you know his dog's name. Do not start freaking out because he has different interests than you (he's a boy, you're a girl... HELLO!). Do not start thinking you couldn't marry them because they don't wear good shoes, or their hair is horrible... it happens.
YOU get what I'm sayin' cuz you're a smart girl.
So IF you're a date-freaker-outer. Just take it on date at a time. See how you feel after each date and go from there.

For that's what dating is all about.
You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself about... that's what it's all about

XOXO
Rules Girl

Rule # 532: Take it One DATE at a time...(1.0)

I don't know if you've ever been asked out for a date, and then in the same ask-out... asked out for ANOTHER. For example, he calls and asks you to a David Bowie concert in a week and you LOVE David Bowie and totally want to go*... but then he says, "well a week is far off, let's do dinner tomorrow night". DO NOT ruin David Bowie for yourself.
I mean, cuz look at him. (baha)
Tell the asker-out that this week is nuts for work, or make some other excuse up because what if he totally SUCKS (meaning he's creepy, boring, way more into his car than he should be, or doesn't like ice cream or something lame) and then you miss out on David Bowie because you know you wouldn't be able to handle another quick second with this dude!?!?!? (sorry guys, it often goes the other way as you know and is helpful hint-age for you as well).
Rules Girls are all about protecting themselves and providing happiness. So, make yourself and the guy happy by sparing you BOTH an awful night. It's not like you canceled on him altogether, you're doing yourselves a favor by sparing the situation some potential discomfort and making it a win-win! You still get to go out with him, AND have David Bowie. See what I'm sayin'?

So... abide by this important Rules Girl RULE: Take it one DATE at a time (1.0). See the other face of this rule in the following post.

hearts for David Bowie

hahaha

XOXO
Rules Girl

*if you know what this scenario is inspired by, please comment and you will win a prize (the prize of the recognition of your girly smarts)

It's our 1 Year Anniversary!!!! PARTAYYYYYY

PARTAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

Today is The Rules Girl blog 1 Year Anniversary. We've been through a lot together, it's been sweet and oh so romantical. Thank you for all that you are.

Here's a review of some of the favs from this year.

- Rules Girls success: what is it?

- Body Language: be interested, but not TOO interested

- Red Light Green Light: the how to on holding hands

- You're NOT the exception to the rule

- Emotional throw-up

- Rules Girls are on the defense

- You're bitter

It's all because of you...

XOXO
Rules Girl

Don't get emotionally involved too quickly

The best way to save yourself from heartbreak is to NOT get emotionally involved too quickly...

If you've been hurt in the past and have the tendency to be emotionally dependent... then please for your sake (and probably for his), take it one step at a time. You don't want the whole thing to end in two weeks and you realize that you invested a lil too much, and now you're bankrupt and have no feeling at all. As girls we tend to do this because we love to FEEL. We love to invest our energy into someone else, but sometimes you just have to realize the feeling isn't mutual, or it's just not going to work out, or just that you have to hold back just a touch.
Breaking up is awful at all stages, but don't make it worse than it is because the thing had to end more premature than expected causing more heart break because you invested more energy and your heart into it than you should have.
I'm not saying be heartless, just don't give all your heart in the first couple weeks. One step at a time.

Don't be like this guy...
It's harder for your heart to break, if you give them less to break. Use your brain along WITH your emotion. That's the Rules Girl way.
balance.

XOXO
Rules Girl