Thursday, September 30, 2010

A support system

When you're trying to break a habit, you have to have a support system. It's like AA or NA or even quitting caffeine... you've got to have your support system. That's what us Rules Girls are for each other... a support system. So here's some support. We get it, I get it.
I'll remind you to stop dwelling on it. Let yourself stop wanting them.

Miss them.
Send them light and love, and drop it.

Rules Girl

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

"_________ Responsibly."

Ok no actually I'm not talking about drinking responsibly. I'm talking about Running AWAY Responsibly. What I mean by this is sometimes you have to follow the gut, your emotions, your heart. Sometimes you have to just go. However, when you do so... you do so responsibly. For the timing is not always appropriate to run... but sometimes it is. For example, you don't just run away from a relationship, but if you're having a hard time expressing yourself, or holding back anger, then it is ok to runaway to the park, or maybe even to your bed for a nap. I don't care where you go, but don't think that if you can't hack the confrontation, that you have to stay there and face it. Just say, I need a little time to myself and RUN! (this book is pretty good, kind of unrelated to this post, but eh) Running can help you get out the emotions you don't know how to express any other way. You just feel you need to escape from so many things, so do it. There are many ways to run... you can paint, sing, RUN, sit at the park, sleep, work, etc... Rules Girls are not affraid to do what they have to. Running sometimes helps the relationship instead of yelling, arguing, showing your hurt too early. Go, run, think it through, but make sure whoever you're running from knows they're loved and that you just need to run. But don't forget to go back, or to use it as a tool of avoidance.

It's good for the soul. Helps you heal.
Run Responsibly.
Runnin' Rules Girl

Monday, September 27, 2010

May the force NOT be with you

We've all done it. Some of us have even completely embarrassed ourselves in the process. You can't force a relationship. You can't force it in any phase. For example...Maybe you like him, and he doesn't like you. You can't force it. You can't make him like you or want you back. Or...Maybe you want the relationship to go to the next level, but you can't force it or it might be too fast and you scare them away. And then ....Maybe you don't like THEM back, but you want to so bad. No matter what relationship phase or position you are in, you just can't force it.
In this situation, I urge you to NOT have the force be with you.
(for all those intergalactic junkies, I know we want the force, and I'm not saying you should go all sith, just take a chill for a sec)
Sometimes you're lucky and get successful in forcing it to a certain point, but even then you realize it didn't really get you what you wanted, and that now you're far beyond saving face. You're embarrassed, and realize that you just can't force it, because forcing doesn't work. You can't force yourself, and you especially can't force them into wanting something. It usually it ends up with you being embarrassed and feeling stupid for putting yourself so far out there, and them seeing you as completely ridiculous, needy, or incapable of being alone. Save yourself the face, and the heartache... and don't force it. Go with the flow, and if that means healing... then heal. if that means waiting to see what happens, then wait. Be patient, let them take the reigns on this one. If that means dropping it, then drop it. You've done what you can do, you've forced all you can force, go. Now, it's their turn.

Rules Girl

Friday, September 24, 2010

Rules Girls don't Pity Party... When you've got a good thing, embrace it.

see. pity parties are LAME.
Stop thinking about what "they" can do for you and, and start thinking about how you could be doing so much more to show you care about THEM! Quit it with the pity party. If you have a special someone, a significant other, a lover, someone you cherish... embrace it, and especially THEM. Stop focusing inward and on yourself. Stop thinking about how much you need to be loved and how you wish they could be better for you and START thinking about what you can do for them. What can you do to show them you care, want them, love them, need them. Tell them more? Kiss them more? Rules Girls are the type that value those they love. Sometimes we forget to do the little things to show people we love having them in our lives, but we certainly try. So be that Rules Girl that embraces the good thing they've got... especially when you're having a pity party.

Rules Girl

Monday, September 20, 2010

Heartache Sucks

Dear Rules Girl,
Does anyone ever feel the way I do? That heartache sucks? I hate watching people go through it, I hate feeling it, and I hate causing it. It burns. It hurts. It won't go away. It's hard to concentrate on anything else. I want to see him, but I can't. I want to talk to him but I can't. I hate feeling as if I've been hurting too long, or don't want to tell anyone but everyone at the same time. I want to be alone, but I can't be alone. Heartache sucks. I know I'm crazy that I almost want the pain to stay because then at least there is part of them still with me. I write to ask you how to fix it, even though a large part of me doesn't even want to.
heartache sucks.

Dear Heartache Sucks,
I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner, but I couldn't think of what to say. I know it sucks, but I feel as if only time heals. But in the mean time you can use a trick I learned from the movie Eat Pray Love (I know, cheezy mcgee but hey never knock good advice!). You're trying to get over it and clear your head but you miss them, you love them. We've all been there. It's hard.
In the movie Julia Roberts' friend tells her that in order to let herself miss them. "If you miss them...miss them. You love them, So love them. Send them love and light. then drop it." I would have to second this motion. There's nothing you can do, but to go through with those feelings. So when doing so, send them light and love, but then drop it. Allow yourself to feel a little sad, but then carry on. Drop it. Do the other great things you were meant to do.
Good luck. I send you light and love :)

Rules Girl

Friday, September 17, 2010

Heightened Emotions.

Sometimes we are overly sensitive.
I know I can overreact, be way too sensy, and get upset over really stupid things. I hate that it happens because in my deep down thinker I'm saying to myself, "You're ridic, it's not a big deal" but then my insides are just screaming with frustration. I mean, have YOU Ever snapped at a special someone or took something they said the wrong way... when you never would have with anyone else? Ever fought about something that if your bff said it, you wouldn't care? Welp, I've decided it's because of heightened emotions. when you're in a relationship or diggin' on someone you have the tendency to overreact about stupid things merely because you're so in touch with those feelers, that you get kinda sensy if they say something that makes you feel in the slightest bit less appealing to them.
Anyway... moral of the story. Whether you're on the receiving end of an overly sensitive emotional outburst, or causing it... Take a step back, breathe, and realize you heart them so it's not worth getting this worked up over. Talk it out, and be done with it.

oh and yes this was inspired by my favorite TV show... any guesses?
Rules Girl

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Don't forget what you deserve.

You really are amazing, one of a kind... you are confident, beautiful, full of passion and life, and oh so much more. So why not deserve someone who truly cherishes that? Sometimes we settle for someone who doesn't value us as they should. Well, here's a song to you...this is what you deserve. A special someone who feels like THIS about you.

Be with someone that adores you.

Rules Girl

Thursday, September 9, 2010

The Mind Wanderer

I found myself daydreaming today about all the places I want to see and go...
It started with the Panama Canal because the discussion I was SUPPOSED to be involved in was about Panama Canal Treaties, but then my thoughts went on to how I want to see Pearl Harbor, the Great Wall of China, Palace Square in Russia and so many other places. THEN, my mind wandered on to how I want to paint a giant picture of all these places.
like this guy...

(elephants are like big dogs, I want one)
It turns out this daydream was a mini-victory for me. Why? Well, have you ever noticed that when you need to get over someone or something but you can't, your mind always seems to wander back to them? Well, I caught my mind wandering about something completely my own instead of it being about some dude. It was a conquest, a defeat. For that moment, I had the advantage.
This daydreaming thing, the idea of changing of my thoughts and redirecting my emotions toward something else is something I'm working on, and I did it. Instead of feeling guilty, sad, and angry I decided that I have the right to be happy. I can change, and that's what I'll work on, but in the meantime I can move on and enjoy life. I don't have to dwell on him, that, them, or this. I can daydream about life, my future, joy, exploration, and ambition.
So here's to us Rules Girls. For our mini-victory's. Cheers! To changing our minds, shifting our emotions, and having that moment of success that keeps us going, knowing we're headed the right way... and most importantly knowing it won't be like this forever.

Rules Girl

Friday, September 3, 2010

Rules Girls don't give the silent treatment... (we talk it out)

...Because guess what, that's what we did when we were eight and didn't know how to express ourselves. Now that we're big girls, we talk it out. If you have a problem, you need to talk about it and make sure that things get squared away. It's detrimental to a relationship to give the silent treatment for two days, a week, a month... and then all of a sudden act like nothing ever happened.
Talk it out. Then you can actually repair thing instead of having them linger and never get resolved.
We don't give the silent treatment to our men, and we don't give it to our girlfriends. We sort it out.
Just change the lyrics to .... "now talk it out..... now talk it out"

Rules Girl