Wednesday, February 24, 2010

LETTER TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!

So here's my situation:
I know this guy who has recently befriended a girl, however he is not interested in pursuing her and is trying really hard to be her friend but not give her the wrong idea. He started getting the vibes that she liked him but he didn't want to be cold or anything (kinda obvious when she's asking him if it'd be kosher to ask HIM out on a date). Now he's in a pickle because of course he doesn't want to hurt her or lead her on, but she's read into things. The other day she confessed to me that she has a "tiny crush" on him. I already knew how he felt, but I didn't want to be the one to dash any hopes. I simply told her he just got out of a relationship (which is true) and may not really be looking to get involved with anyone right now (which is partly true?...he asked one of my friend's out the other night). I just suggested she keep meeting other guys to keep her options open.
So question is....What else can I do? How can I help her become a Rules Girl?
Oh dear oh dear,
Thanks for your letter! I think this is one that we've all been in before. It's hard to watch a friend be a little outrageous when it comes to guys. It's hard to see a girl step out of her Rules Girl-ness and into the world of being "that girl". yikesabee. Well, I think you're doing the right thing so far and to continue in that direction. Advising her to keep her options open and to look for other guys is the best thing you can do. That AND to take her out and get her eye on someone else... Oh and then of course you can send her a link to my blog (ok, not this post) baha jk. But really, unfortunately we can't shake girls and tell them PLEASE BE A RULES GIRL it's for YOUuuuuuuuuuuuu... they just have to learn from their mistakes and then eventually they just figure it out through trial and error (some faster than others) or they end up getting a mail order lover (jk). But WhaDuIdoo... you're being a great friend, just keep encouraging her in the right direction, nudge gently and never be harsh and tell her she's ridic...not quite time for that.

Rules Girl


Blogger Ashley said...

The sad truth is, we can't change other people (no matter how much we may want to) but we also can't expect people to act rationally when they don't have all the details. Be a good friend, and share some enlightenment with your gal pal! She probs wouldn't be feeling crushy if she had all the deets.

Also... the guy in this story should stop spending time with this girl if he doesn't have any intentions and knows she's into him. That is cruel, and a waste of time for both of them.


February 24, 2010 at 1:16:00 PM PST  
Blogger Charles Dickstein said...

I wouldn't say that it's a waste of time. How come you can't just be friends with a girl?

But I will say this, to stay true to REAL Rules Girl form...You give her the info, and she does what she wants from there. Like Ashley said, she might not be crushing in the first place if she had all the details.

If he's not interested, you're not doing your friend any favors by sugar coating it and putting a pink bow on a crappy situation.

If she was a real Rules Girl, she'd shrug the shoulders and move it along to the next hot piece.

February 25, 2010 at 4:26:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Amanda said...

The thing is though it's up to her friend to learn if a guy is just not into her. She nor any other woman or man can do that for her all of the time. Plus have you heard about kill the messenger.

Maybe give her a copy of The Rules and He's Just Not That Into You. Believe me when I say HJNTIY really opened my eyes.

March 19, 2010 at 1:42:00 AM PDT  

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