Honesty is the Rules Girl Policy

If we don't like you, we're not going to pretend that we do.
(we might not be 100% sold on the idea, but we won't mess with you...)

If we don't want to date you anymore, we'll tell you why (nicely/tactfully, but truthfully).
If we don't want to see that movie but we know you really want to (we'll go, but we don't have to love it or do this for you every weekend)
If we are craving Cafe Rio and you want Wendy's (both excellent choices by the way), we're going to tell you and we'll talk it out.
Rules Girls have a very strict honesty policy because we are always true to who we are. We aren't very good "people pleasers" because that's clearly unhealthy.

XOXO
Rules Girl

Meet me Half Way

Can you meet me halfway?

YES. We won't do anymore than that... sorry buddy. I would almost even apply Hitch's 90/10 kissing rule to the whole shenanigan. Of course we are going to reciprocate, that's our job...

but NEVER go farther than half way.
Black Eyed Peas Gets it:


Meet me halfway,
XOXO
Rules Girl

ps. notice in the background of this song that you can hear the background to Yeah Yeah Yeah's Maps... listen at 1:50.

LETTER: Girls want substance

Dear Rules Girl,

Your skirt story reminded me of a this situation...
Girl meets boy at a party. They begin chatting - the laundry list (where are you from, do you know, where'd you go to school, where do you work, blah blah blah). The conversation is speckled with supposed "selling points" for this guy:
"I own a 3500 square foot house"
"I got my masters in {whatever}"
"I drive a {insert expensive car}"
Guess what, gents? Rules girls don't care, are not impressed and assume you are overcompensating for something: lack of confidence, lack if intelligence, being shallow, or whatever.

Rules girls want substance, someone who's real, and someone not full of themselves. Save your selling points for your job interviews or for the girls who are looking for someone as shallow as they are.

Sincerely,
Wants Substance

thank you for your letters! if YOU have something to say, e-mail therulesgirl@gmail.com.

A walk in the park

Sometimes Rules Girls just need a breather, to take a walk in the park.

Life is busy with love, decisions, work, and the everyday yadda yadda, so being the emotionally and physically healthy Rules Girl that you are... don't forget to take those Walks in the Park.


Man of the week: MARK (who made this awesome video of NYC)

off for a walk

XOXO
Rules Girl

Creeper de doo da.

If a guy starts whistling creeper de do da... head for the hills,
it's your relationship's personal 2012.

Why? Because it's an element of: CREEPER.

What defines a creeper anyway?

Well, He (or She) is a creeper if....

1. He/she is Creeping

2. He/she is Hiding in the giant pot outside the house and staring in the window

3. He/she is asking your friends too many questions about you and how you feel

4. He/she is having Too much contact (too many texts, e-mails, facebook "likes" and posts on your wall)

5. He/she has a giant picture cut out of you on their wall that they hide everytime you come over but you saw it peeking out of the closet last time you were over

6. He/she writes you love poems and sends them via snail mail

7. He/she takes things literally...

8. Disproportionate fbk stalking. Keep the facebook stalking to a minimum: See past post: Eh, You're a stalker so am I.

9. He/she is creeping

Have any creeper stories to share!?!? send me an e-mail: therulesgirl@gmail.com.

XOXooooXOoXOOooXX

Rules freaking Girl.

FEATURED: "The Love Story Thief"

The Love Story Thief - everyone has a love story to steal
by Suvi
It's like listening to the NPR This American Life podcast of love. And I'm in love WITH it. The Love Story thief herself is a talented friend of mine and an inspiration...she posts darling podcasts interviewing people and giving us a little taste of how others have experienced love.
It's right up our alley.
check it out - you'll love it. Grab some headphones and give 'er a listen.

http://thelovestorythief.posterous.com/

XOXO
Rules Girl

Rules Girls Don't date weenies.

If he can't hack it, let him loose. It' s only going to get worse.
Rules Girls don't do the SUPER sensy's we want a real man, a fighter...

Yea... they sometimes look real tastey, or even like a lot of fun. But in the end, you often regret divulging.
think about it... hot dog eating contest on Coney Island....yuck.
Rules Girls don't date Weenies give me REAL man.

XOXO
Rules Girl

D-FENSE boom boom D-FENSE boom boom

don't let this be you....

Rules Girls are on the defense. Yep, it's true. We aren't the running back, the quarter pack, and we're clearly not cut for the offensive-line...
Rules Girls are always on the defense. If Mr. Hottie (or even not so mr. hottie) wants us, come on at us and we'll play with you... otherwise, we're busy being a defensive-end so leave us alone. We are continually protecting ourselves from both those we want to come tackle us, and those we wish we weren't even playing two-hand touch with. (ok this is flag, but you get the picture) The ones we want often hurt us pretty bad, so we need to learn how to play the game right and learn how to tackle. We don't want any flags being thrown and especially no injuries. How do you tackle the right way? Welp. You don't show every feeling you feel or thought you have. Be on the Defense. AND...don't feel bad if your guard is up every so often in the game of love or if you're wearing your pads and helmet. It's smarter that way. I mean, look at Rugby players... blood and injuries everywhere.

We protect ourselves.
Go Defense!

XOXO
Rules Girl

Don't use Foul Language

Please don't call me pal, bud, buddy, or friend because you just auto-shot me into the friend zone (ew.) with this foul language.
Maybe it was your intention (probably) but maybe it wasn't. Guys and gals... don't auto-shoot someone into the friendzone by using such foul language. Also don't assume you need to use such language because you think someone is so utterly wasted in their love for you. Such boundaries are unneccessary so early in the game. So, A word from the wise (baha). Use language carefully. If the person is appalling and you REALLY don't ever want them to think there could be something between you and they are quite creepy, then utilize such foul rhetoric to give the intended impression. However: if there's even the slightest chance something could be there.... never use such foul language.

Because...

I'm NOT your buddy. Nor do I want to be.

XOXO
Rules Girl

The Force

No, I'm not talking about the kind that Yoda uses

ummm can I date yoda?
I'm talking about when THE FORCE... the kind that Rules Girls NEVER do.
Have you ever used the force to do the following:
A. Forced yourself to try and like someone
B. Forced yourself to "Give it a whirl" or continue a relationship when you just KNEW ...
C. Forced yourself against your instincts by giving someone the benefit of the doubt when you should've been protecting yourself from the situation.
Rules Girls don't force things because we are true to who we are and what we want from life. We don't waste our time forcing ourselves in relationships that we know wont' work just to satisfy the loneliness or desire for love appetite. (Go eat fro-yo instead)
You don't see the repercussions of force?
Welp, let me tell you.... You can protect yourself from unnecessary hurt and emotion by not going against your instincts. It's never worth it to go against what your insides tell you. Rules Girls are more than true to themselves because they know what happiness stems from.
Be true.
Don't settle, and Never use this version of "the force".

XOXO
Rules Girl

The Calm

It's funny the more you date, the less excited you get about guys and I mean that in a completely healthy and good way. it dies down from that 16 then 18 year-old phase of "obsessive crushes" that don't ever really turn out as great as you hype them up to be anyway...

You pretty much decide that hey, that one is cute and funky and wonderful... but if he doesn't like me... eh, whatevs. I still love A. my life. B. my self C. whatever else suits you spiritually, emotionally and mentally.
It seems that as we become more of the **Rules Girl we strive to be, the more calm we are in our dating lives. And when we ARE NOT calm, it usually is a bad sign.
Relationships are not supposed to be full of drama and confusion, they are supposed to be fun, comfortable and best of all... calm.
There will always be things to work out and communicate. There will be hard things to discuss and work on, but over all, don't be hating it, or it's just not worth it. If you have anxiety, either call it off or get it figured out.
Be Calm.

XOXO
Rules Girl
** (Rules Girl meaning *intERdependent in our relationships, healthy, happy and beautiful)
*interdependent = mutually dependent; depending on each other. It's the healthy kind.
(but not CO-dependent or DEpendent <--- we'll leave that for another post)

Rules Girl #34444444444: Sometimes it's best to just walk ... away.

"Hey, didn't you wear that skirt when I saw you Sunday?"
EH!?! I swung my head around and saw this kid that I have met a couple times and who had quazi 'followed' me around somewhat at another function before so I chuckled to myself when I ran into him randomly and the first thing he blurted out was ... my skirt.
I then responded with, "thanks? wanna buy me a new one?"(trying to be nice while wishing I could hand him a 'learn how to be socially competent by the Rules Girl business card')
and he said no but told me I shouldn't repeat the skirt....
cool.
I finally pushed through the kindness and out came the blunt and real self and I said, "what's your problem with my skirt?"
and he flirting-ly responds, "Well... isn't it dirty?". (winky weird googly face)
uhhhh seriously? So what if I'm repeating a skirt with a different ensemble in a place I never thought I'd see anyone who had seen me Sunday...
anyhoo- I ended up explaining to the poor chap that people often do their laundry and maybe said something about it being once a week or so and he explained to me that Sunday wasn't 7 days ago, it was "like 72 hours ago". (ps. it's Thursday)
I proceed to count to five with my fingers and pointing at each as I said a day of the week, "Sunday (1), Monday (2), Tuesday... " I showed him that it had been 5 days.
At this point I was so excited about him, that I just walked away.
Yea....
Moral of the story. Rules Girls don't DO ridiculous.
We of course try to be nice, but sometimes the nicest thing to do... is to walk away.
bye dirty skirt but not really dirty skirt hater boy... have fun with your every 7 day laundry and finding a girl that likes to be told she's dirty and repeats outfits.
walk...
away.
XOXO
Rules Girl

got a story? Let it be heard. E-mail me: therulesgirl@gmail.com

Why be so cliche?

Rules Girls like a real simple First Date. Don't get too extravagant on us too soon, or else you might move up to Creepy Mcgee status. Some girls like a real nice dinner on the first date, but most girls want to keep it a little more simple. Dinner and a movie are fine, but why be so cliche?

flowers are not necessary for the first date... can often be seen as scary
I'm not saying you should have one of those really "creative" dates that are overly cheezy and should be the date of a 16-year-old (I'm seeing lots of ballons, scavenger hunts, candy signs and video cameras)... Simple equals... ice cream and a walk.... a free concert in the park or a solid game of Mario kart on the Wii with some tasty pizza. yummmmm. Don't go overboard just keep it simple enough that you can get to know each other and have plenty of conversation and [clear throat] be alone if you want to count it as anything substantial.

perf.

XOXO
Rules Girl