As Rules Girls we have the tendency to inspire others.
We're disciplined. We write well Read lots Love chocolate
Run fast Have hobbies Talents and oh yea...
Who wouldn't be inspired?
Welp. I seem to have inspired another blog. We have one who calls himself the Rules Boy and would like a little banter.
Oh my little Rules Boy Banter I can do. Unfortunately, I agree with you so far. Porpoises like pleasure, swim shallow, and prefer the harem to 'life'. Hence the reason Rules Girls date men and not porpoises. Oh, but Rules Boy, Don't forget - even porpoises are the hunters.
We are on auto-assume that whoever this friend, future beau, or just guy... does NOT like us, until proven otherwise. This gets tricky to balance not jumping into the friends role too fast. But it can be done. Don't put too much weight one way or the other...
If he's diggin' it. He'll do what he needs to do.
Oh and guys, relax... she just might not be that into you either....
In follow-up to my last post about having a chill attitude about the first date... I had to post more on the HOW-TO's of a first date. The main reason being AOL helped me stumble across a partially ridiculous and pretty much true article about it. So here we go.
Points to keep in mind about the first date, for both Rules Girls... and boys:
First of all... guys. It's time to start asking. You can do it. It is NOT serious. No more excuses. 1. Every detail of the date does not need to be planned. Have an overall idea of what you're doing and go from there.
2. The first date is all about the 'get to know you' game. So do something where you can have a relaxed and comfortable conversation with a good "activity" involved. (good activities involve: walks and ice cream, dessert at a coffee shop, dinner in a quaint place, pizza and the batting cages etc etc etc)
3. Don't get too genre specific on your date. Maybe a poetry reading, comic book extravaganza, or star trek book signing aren't the best idea unless you already know they love it... be general in your activity planning)
4. Go short, or go home. KEEP IT SHORT. Rules Girl, if you have to cut it off first, do so. Leave them wanting more or just leave because he's a bore haha. ok cheesy.
5. Less expensive is best. It takes off the pressure for both parties. If he spends too much, you might feel bad he invested in something that might not happen... and vice versa.
A little male bird told me that some guys won't ask girls on a date (yes singular) because they are somehow afraid that she'll "expect" something more. And he says this from experience.
uhhhhhh.... Girls - WHAT HAVE WE DONE!?Granted, some of these guys are complete weenies and just need to step it up... however - guys should not be afraid to date us merely because we're being WAY TOO INTENSE.
1 date is not greater than one.
ok, ok, so you live in a place where there seem to be, how do I say this... few options... the well is dry and you get a little excited at the thought of a crush. I understand, but please this is no excuse. Tone down. Going on ONE date, does not mean the guy likes you, wants commitment, or even that he'll ask you out again. It merely is what it is. A date...We're grown ups now. We go out one-on-one... and he's a REAL man, so he'll pay. He wants to get to know you better or maybe even just have good conversation...so he's gonna treat you real nice, you're going to get pretty and it's going to be a good time.
Let's do what we can to fascillitate more love and not take a date so serious. Take it for what it is, and please don't expect anything out of it except for a grown-up good time.
The Back Burner? Yep, you're pretty much being saved for later, or just kinda sitting there being stirred every so often to keep things brewin' a little. However, the bad thing is that you could easily get burned from the lack of attention. Then again sometimes it's good to sit and stew, especially when the timing is all wrong... hmm I guess it depends on the meal...
Let's think this through...
The pro's and con's of back burners: The heat is turned on, but only a little bit... I mean who really uses the back burner unless the other burners are out of commission? yikes. you could slowly burn. ouch. If he hasn't asked you out yet, then you're probably don't savor his taste buds enough to turn up the heat. However sometimes there is distance or other situations involved. confusing. Yikes+Ouch+Confusing = None of those sound good I'm starting to weigh toward the negative on back-burners.
There are multiple types of back-burners: Back-burner Type #1: He makes his presence known and he's stuck in your head just in case he's ready to make it happen. Unfortunately he isn't all the way there, present, involved... (this is the negative kind... Rules Girls would ditch this one and move onto a different idea as to not waste time and emotion) Back burner Type #2: He calls or texts every so often, you hang out every once in a while... maybe even a date with no follow-up, but he's just dippin' in and jumping out. (bail time?) Back-burner Type #3: Distance. You're far away but keep up the communication with either a glimmer of hope, out of boredom, loneliness or just because you feel like it. (This seems to me like a void filler, maybe not the most healthy idea...)
Alright. So it's decided... Rules Girls aren't back-burner flava women... we're definitely the "tastes delish, so you better eat it or go home" type.
You're a front burner girl. So be it.
XOXO Rules Girl
The Killers know a little about the back burner - let's consult...
Rule #32 Rules Girls never long too long after Mr.... Wonderful?
"See that one. Yep. That guy over there... ahhhh so hot, so great, so wonderful. My eye is set on that one." (uh-oh I sense some blinders)
Who is this Mr. Wonderful you are pinning over? Is he giving you a glance? Has he ever called? More importantly... has he asked you OUT? Welp. We all know what that means to a Rules Girl... Rules Girls get real and only give so much hope and only let so much vulnerability seep out until we move along.
So what if he seems so wonderful, that doesn't really mean that he IS. Just because he's pretty doesn't mean he has any substance. Not only THAT, but you have your stinkin' blinders on. Can't you see these other "average joe's" that actually ARE giving you the time of day. It usually turns out that the average joe's are the wonderfuls anyway. Definitely not vice versa.
Image isn't everything honey, oh man it sure isn't. What do you honestly have in common with the pretty boy? So find an "Average Joe" who you feel some genuine chemistry with instead of trying to find some guy you could stare at. We want one that actually reciprocates our like for them...
Take off the blinders. Get over Mr. Wonderful. Give Joe thetime of day.
*A recent study demonstrates how head tilt can help you appear to be either more trustworthy or more attractive. People who tilt their head to the right by a few degrees are seen as more trustworthy whereas a tilt to the left is seen as more attractive. Which do you need in your next interaction? (ooh lala and some hubba hubba)
Our minds start to get all crazy when things are really good in a relationship... why is that? Maybe because we aren't used to it? idk.
Sometimes it seems we sub or consciously think "there is no way this is as good as it seems" and we quazi dream up these inconsequential non-existent reasons why our relationship isn't going well or why he "must not like us", even though the guy is doing everything he knows how, and doing it... pretty dang well.
Some examples are as follows: 1. "He hasn't called yet!" (Even though he told you he was working late and would later) 2. "He didn't respond to my facebook post" (he's not huge on the fb and he text you later anyway and you hung out/went to dinner) 3. "Is he too much" (uhhh he sent you flowers for no reason that's adorable) 4. "He didn't like that I said ____ _____" (when really YOU felt insecure and he didn't care at all)
Keep your noggin' on straight and just go with the flow. Don't worry too much about these little things when the overall picture is... HE LIKES YOU and you know it. Oh man, do I know that is a scary concept... but it's what you said you wanted, so take it. It's funny that when things are going well we dream up these little silly things, and then when things AREN'T going well... we choose to ignore their existence. Silly us, let's keep our heads on straight... and be Rules Girls...
It sounds like a dance move, and it could be... but I'm talking about something a little different. my funk never feels that pretty or girly... it feels more like this... uhhhh, right? ok maybe not. It's time to "Bust Da Funk" if you've come to the point that for whatever reason, you're in the anti-dating, anti-man, anti-try-anymore FUNK. We get to this point for multiple reasons...
A. We went on a few dates, but nothing proceeded past that. B. We finally found someone to crush on, and the feeling isn't reciprocated. C. We just got out of a relationship. D. We found out he's a "playa" of sorts. ew. lame. blah. E. We're sick of being "Just a Friend". F. Where the H are all the crushes to be had? Dry well.
Welp. So how do you GET OUT of it? Well....It's all a mind game... with yourself. You have to use your Rules Girls mindset of hobbies, friends, to bust this one. Da Funk is DaWorst, and it's hard to blow off, but it's possible. You can do it. Just know, we all know what it feels like... BUT Rules Girls don't let the funk last too long... we Bust Da Funk.
Leavefirst... Endthe Call. Stop the text convo. Stop gchatting first. Donotdivulgetoo much info & talktoo much. Don't move too fast, please lethimtake the lead. Stroke the Egoand then leave somefor later.