Thursday, October 29, 2009

Guest Blogger: Jeffrey - "Don't be Stupid"

Here's a little info from a different perspective. A boy who gets the Rules and encourages girls to live by them. His name is simply... Jeffrey.

So here's what Jeffrey has to say:

It's so easy to tell if a guy ACTUALLY likes you, or if he just wants something from you. People try to do mental gymnastics because they don't want to face the fact that a person may not like them back.

yea, don't be this girl.
For example: If he doesn't want to take you out to meet his friends, he doesn't like you that much. Furthermore if he only wants to meet with you in one-on-one settings and at random hours, it's a clear indication that he is unwilling to be seen in public with you. If he does not invite you to a party or social gathering, it's most likely that he's trying to find "another" girl that he likes more than you. (Rules Girl interjection... uh oh). If people use common sense they can easily tell if the guy likes them or not. I know personally that no matter how busy I am, I can find time to spend time with the people I care about. That doesn't mean everyday, but it does mean that they are in my thoughts, in my heart... and they feel it. Excuses like "I'm really busy with work" are just that. EXCUSES. So Ladies please, use a modicum of common sense and ask yourself this simple question... is this how I would treat somebody that I liked?

Thanks for guest blogging for us Jeffrey we always love a man's perspective.

XOXO Rules Girl

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

He's just not that into you... if...

No, not a movie review...
it's actually a little more. Deciding whether he is or isn't "into you" is most confusing when you're trying to establish whether you are "friendly" or "friendliER".
However, there are some pretty blatant signs for any stage or relationship.
he's just not that into

- He brings someone else along on what you thought might be a "date"...
- He hasn't taken you out lately...ok, or ever. Nope that doesn't 'count' as a date.
- He doesn't initiate contact... you do the texting and calling
- He hasn't made a move and it's been a long long time since you've been friends or hanging out
we should carve this in a pumpkin to make it the right kind of seasonal.
- He hasn't somehow otherwise (physically shown you he likes you or asked you out) expressed interest CLEARLY as in, "I like you and want to date you". <--- pretty sure this rarely happens before the other two. - He comes up with a cop-out of why it "won't work".
- He likes to smooch you but just "isn't ready for a relationship" or "looking for one right now"
- He's been "busy" and never called you back, all 4 times in a row. (this is so un-rules girlesque, you shouldn't have called him 4 times)
- He is asking out lots of other chicas and especially in front of you... uhhhhhh

Sometimes we just don't want to admit it because it stinks. But it's better to just know and get it over with. So if it's you, be the one in control of the emotions... be sad about and then and then move it along.

Rules Girl

any others you'd like to add? leave a comment or e-mail

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Rules Girl Stage Theory - The stages leading up to LOVE

There is a certain development, process and progress that comes with dating and love. You don't just jump into love of course, so how do we define the stages leading up to it?
Welp, here are the Rules Girls Love Stages...
Working from the bottom up here they are:
1. Attraction. 2. Interest 3. Crush 4. Like 5. Loake* 6. Love
oooh la la... you met someone...let the stages begin...
Attraction - You think they're hot or you like their personality, the little you know about it. You haven't interacted with them a ton, but the little you know makes you want to know more.
Interest - You know the person fairly well an have had at least a few interactions with them and actually think it worthy of thinking about pursuing.

Around the Interest and Crush stage is when you start asking
flowers whether he loves you... or loves you not...

Crush - It's just a little crush, not like I faint every time we touch. It's not that crazy infatuated, stalkeresque version of the word. You think they are cute/hot/handsome and fab but it's pretty much based on looks and initial chemistry and interaction thus far, there isn't a whole lot of depth yet.
Like - Here comes the depth diving...You begin to know each other pretty well, hang/go out tons and you are hopefully dating them at this point... This phase often lasts for quite... a... while.
evident you dig each other, you still get lots of butterflies around these stages
Loake- You've been liking each other for quite a while now and aren't quite ready to say the ultimate L word yet, but you're having some pretty strong feelers towards them. You don't know how else to really make that clear so you use the LOAKE to express you're desire to maybe think about loving them, but not quite ready to make that leap yet.
Just imagine saying this when saying goodnight, "I LOAKE YOU".
baha. I love it. I mean loake it.

uh oh... you're in trouble now...headed down the road to love.
LOVE - Love in itself is always hard to define. But when we talk about love in this situation, we mean IN-love. Not just "I love my bff", but "I'm stinkin' in *LOVE with this dude". It's more than the hormonal mushy gushy beginning stages it's the pretty much "i wanna grow old with you" and "be yours forever" kinds of feelings. This is intense stuff...

Rules Girl

*Even once you reach the LOVE stage, there are multiple levels of Love. But we'll leave that for another post.
*Loake was created by K. Keeler, please contact her further scholarly information if needed.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Rules Girls don't compete with the Drama Mama

Rules Girls don't compete for a man...
especially if we're competing
with drama.
There's only one thing we hate more that drama... actually, I can't think of anything...hmmmm.
If you are wanting drama, please go
A. pursue the stage or
B. watch a soap.

oh look, here's one now...

she's never watched TV or something. why is she wiping the blood all over herself and not wearing gloves? ok, Anyway...
Rules Girls don't deal with this jazz - there's enough going on with life... and relationships are complicated enough withOUT the drama thrown into it. bleh I'm tired just thinking about it all. This drama stuff reminds me of 6th grade when I held hands with my bf at the skating rink and it all went crazy from there (long story)...but moral of the story... the skating rink isn't as cool anymore and yea...
hey! maybe we should start a D.A.R.E program for anti-drama!? what do you think?
D. will stand for Drama
A. will stand for (is) Annoying
R. will stand for Remove (yourself from it cuz it's frustrating and sucks)
E. will stand for Evil, because whoever is causing the drama is evil.

(yes I just made that ridiculousness up just now...)
If you are one in the relationship being dramatic or if you know who is causing the drama... dot dot dot is all I have to say. If you are a Rules Girl - remove your Rules Girl sash because weya'll don't want no drama.
ew. drama just makes me... ew.
Rules Girl

For those of you dazed and confused ummm ok, let's be honest, you're probably a male reader (no offense I love me some males) but go ask a trusted UNdramatic feline to explain this whole drama mama thing...

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Too much talky talk

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah

Don't be that girl.
Of course you need to Say what you need to say.

But don't be THAT girl who tells this long ridiculous drawn out silly story that you should tell your girlfriend, and not your man.
You've done it and KNEW he was uninterested in it but you just kept blah blah blahing anyway. He was nice enough to listen, but didn't want to.
It's ok to do this every so often, but don't wear him out - it's not his thing.
That feeling you had telling you not to do that again. Listen to it.
Rules Girls don't blah blah.


Monday, October 5, 2009

The Un-interested...

In response to more questions concerning: How to respond to mediocre dates
You don't have to blatantly say, "I don't want to go out with you" for the poor lad to get the hint. (ok well sometimes, but usually they are smart enough to catch the drift)
So... what can you do?
Use that body language to your advantage!
1. Don't fully face him with shoulder squared and feet pointing toward him.
2. Point your body and feet toward the door if you can.
3. Have lacking eye contact and look toward the door and clock often.
4. Don't touch him. If you have to... do the "pat pat" with the hug. Guys hate that. (who doesn't?)
Let's practice. What's happening in this picture?

Yep. she's giving interested body language and he's def not.
get it?
ok ok, so I think you get it. Use your "un-interested body language".
So what wordage can be used if you aren't feelin' it for next time... or at all?
"I need to check my schedule"
"Maybe but I'm really busy so we'll see"
Use the "F" word... "Oh yea, I'm glad we're FRIENDS."
"Ummm, I'm sorry I don't know if I can"
and so forth.
Make it clear but not in a blatant "I HATE YOUR GUTS" kind of way. Instead it should be a healthy "no thanks" kind of way...
Find the best excuse that fits for you and use it. It's best if it fits your personality.

Make more sense?

Rules Girl