Thursday, June 4, 2009

Been burned?

I've been there.
In a relationship.
A long one.
that ended.
it hurt.

I can still remember the daze I was in over it. Numb from dull pain. The only thing I could do to keep on going, was to continue to keep breathing.

It reminds me of this hill I ran in a relay once. 6.7 miles uphill. Oh man, it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I'll never forget how bad my legs burned and how tired I felt. It took discipline to continue on. I had to focus on something else, but it had to be something simple. Something continuous. I ended up focusing on my minute by minute breathing patterns because if I were to focus on the pain, I would've never made it to the end.
I had to keep reminding myself that it would be over when it was over and that I could not focus on WHEN it's over, or how long I have left, because that led me to focus on the pain.
But it wasn't about the pain.
I was running. So I began to focus on that.
To breathe.
The memory of that physical pain and the relationship I attribute to it, often feel like it will resonate with me forever. Maybe parts of it will, but for good reason. It teaches me how to love, how not to love, what the red flags are in relationships, and even that it all can be worth it. It taught me what I need to do to make it through the next time... or what to do to prevent feeling that way in the future. Or even, that building muscle hurts.
But the answer to not feeling burned again, is not to quit running. It's to get out there and run harder, to run faster, learn how to breath, what to eat, how to drink, the best form and so on.
The memory of the pain will fade, so it will never be worth it to quit running.
So how do you get up and go again after such a hard run, relationship, or unhappy ending?
You give yourself a good rest.
Then you buy yourself some new shoes and get out there. You set your mind to it because it's all in your head, your power. It takes discipline to focus on something other than the pain. It takes emotional strength to teach yourself how to love again. But you can do it.
Get out and run.

Rules Girl


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amazing post.

June 5, 2009 at 1:42:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Annie said...

Great analogy, and SO true.

June 8, 2009 at 11:13:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This was helpful in all my life, not just relationships.

June 9, 2009 at 5:36:00 PM PDT  

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