Monday, February 2, 2009

Dear Rules Girl: Non-bf, but bff combo meal...

Dear Rules Girl,
I like having guys for friends but sometimes I get to the point where it's mostly just me and that one best friend guy spending all our time together, almost like a non-boyfriend. Is it appropriate for a rules girl to sport the "non-boyfriend" or is the fact that they're not formally asking me out a sign it isn't going anywhere and I should move on? Plus, I feel like the "non-boyfriend" usually scares off other date-able guys because they think there is really something more going on. What are your thoughts?


Want's a REAL boyfriend

Dear Wants a REAL boyfriend,

I'm glad you brought this up. It covers two very important topics. The first "Friend to Friendlier" and the second, "Void Filling -Gone Wrong".

Friend to Friendlie
r - the hardest topic of all...
So let me ask, do you like this friend? If so, this isn't he best of situation for success. Whether he likes you or not he isn't doing anything about it.

If you want to move from Friend to Friendlier you really only have a few options:
1. Decide whether you want to like him or not and then do one or the other while acting on it a little to see what happens

2. Spend less time with him and find the balance
3. Talk to him about it ("We've been good friends for so long, but I just wonder why nothing has ever happened between us? What are your thoughts on that?")

you know him and I don' you decide. Sometimes the words "Just friends" can hurt liking nothing else.

Who says it better than the Jonas Brothers? (lol)

Having a *Guycessory/Non-BF (aka. Filling THE VOID the wrong way)
<----- Guycessory. You would THINK they were in love...
This isn't the best idea in the world, but I know how it is to just LOVE your guy besties. He's your fav and you love being around him. HOWEVER... these can be debilitating in the dating world. If people see you with him or them all the time, people may assume you love each other (which in fact could be true for one of you because this is often how guy besties are formed). All I'm saying is... make sure you balance it out. Spend time with your guycessory, love them, gchat, text, call them to death... but make sure you make face time with other people and separate from them when it comes to your weekend hang-outs. It's rough, believe me I've learned this so many times the hard way and I have tons of guy besties. But you MUST keep the balance.

Rules Girl

*source: A to the P

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