Friday, January 9, 2009

Texting Guidelines

Dear Rules Girl,

While I was out and about, happily living my own life, I met this guy. We hit it off right away and we've gone out a couple of times. He seems to be giving me all of the right signs that he's interested: we've gone out on some nice dates; he calls/texts me on a somewhat regular basis; we've cuddled and held hands. It feels like we're dating, but nothing has really been said.
My new dilemma is this… sometimes a couple of days will pass without having heard from him. I know he is really busy with work but I don't know if I can text him occasionally to say hello – not start a conversation necessarily, but just let him know he's on my mind. Should I just sit back and wait for him to contact me? At what point in a relationship does the boy stop chasing and you just settle into equal, mutual communication?

Wants to Play by the Rules

Dear Wants to Play by the Rules,

Some Rules Girls play by the rules, and find themselves broken hearted 3 months later for being "too much" or "moving too fast". Don't be left wishing you had stood your ground and were patient with your man. Until a kiss or two and maybe even a talk, try not to expect too much, and too often from the poor guy. He's just getting used to all this! NEVER fall into old habits. Always let the man take the lead.
Understanding who's initiating each situation will help you know more of how to take the appropriate steps. Has he initiated the past hang outs, texts and phone calls, or have you? When was the last time you text him? Here are a few texting guidelines that I like to live by.
1. Text him if he initiated the last two texts. (Only if necessary! You reciprocating is showing interest enough for the most part)
2. I know it feels like forever, but 48 hours in between communication in the beginning is not that long.
3. Only text him if you have something to say. If you really want to make your presence known, an inside joke or “I just saw ___ and it made me think of ___. Hope you’re having a great day!”. DO NOT overuse this, if at all.
As long as you've been reciprocating when you're together in person, don't worry about him thinking you aren't interested. Continue to play by those rules!

Rules Girl

Write in with concerns to


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