Friday, January 30, 2009

Dear Rules Girl - should I offer to pay?

Dear Rules Girl,

So apparently the newest reason why girls stay single is because they offer to pay... I never really have the intention to pay when I am on a first, second or even third date (my intentions to pay only start once we’ve been dating a long time and that we go out so much its impractical for him to pay for everything we do). However, I have been told that I should at least “do the reach” and pretend like I am willing to pay even though I don’t really have any intention to pay. So question 1: What’s the deal, should I “do the reach” or not? I do think it is cheap if the guy doesn’t pay but I don’t want to come off as a snobby girl expecting for him to pay for everything.

Secondly, I was recently out on a date with a guy who is in school. I am a working professional with a decent income. How do you deal with bills in those situations. Should I enable him to accrue more debt and be a gentleman or should I insist on paying? If I had it my way, I would be paying because a)I like being in charge and b) debt is bad (even if it means I get a free dinner).

From,

I’ve got dollars but no cents

Dear I’ve got dollars but no cents,

HE IS TAKING YOU OUT, BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH HIS DOLLARS AND CENTS. You WILL NOT Pay on the first date no matter how bad you feel or how much money you make. Let him be the man, and let your conscience rest at ease. If you’re having anxiety on the second date, offer to pay for the tip. Don't reach for it. That's ridic to "pretend"...


Here’s what guys have to say about it:

That would be like me taking a look at the check when my boss offers to take me out”

“ If you are gonna reach for the check then you had better be willing to throw down the cash.”

SO don’t fret. Especially in the beginning…like you said, wait until you’ve been out more to start worrying about paying for each other and sharing the weight.


ahhhh what a sight to behold... isn't it refreshing?

Let him feel like the bread winner he’s potentially going to be. Believe me… he wants to be the man. If he doesn’t… then you don’t want him anyway, right?

If he looks like this because you didn't "reach" for the bill... I don't even want to know what he looks like when he buys a ring.
XOXO
Rules Girl
(anti-dutch diva)

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