Red Flag: Asking For An Apology

It's ok for people to make mistakes in relationships, I mean c'mon we're human. 

But you shouldn't have to ASK for an apology from someone when it's evident they've messed up.

Why? Because if you have to ask them to apologize, they didn't feel enough to remorse (aka: care enough) to say sorry. Put in other words, if they don't apologize after you've made it clear (if they didn't already know) that they really messed up... then they aren't sorry. That's problematic.

So if you want a 'furthering' relationship ... take it as a red flag and bow out.*

Keep in Mind: Sometimes people don't realized they've made a mistake ... also a human characteristic, but once you've made that clear, it's important that your significant other feels some measure of remorse and apologizes.

Otherwise it's evident they don't really care.

End of story.

XOXO,
RG

P.S. I'm back.

*Use your own judgement for how many times you have to ask for an apology, but at least use your red flag-o-meter to notice when it happens. 

Milky Way - An Analogy

In middle school I used to eat Milky Way candy bars almost everyday at lunch time (fast metabolism then). Then, I got over the Milky Way because I needed a lil' somethin' more. So, I picked up a Snickers and thought yum this is good. However, they always made me sick (both Milky Ways and Snickers). I enjoyed them, but they weren't good for me no matter how delicious they tasted. As I sat and pondered my past with fun size candy, an analogy came to mind.

 

I have some allergies that I now realize are the reason why Milky Way and Snickers made me sick. However, I didn't know it at the time. THIS, is just like men/relationships. For example, I used to really like Milky Ways and thought that the caramely nougat combo (insert ex-bf's characteristics here) were exactly what I needed and wanted in a man. But then, over time, I realized there was something more I wanted. So I added a few extra ingredients  (different batch of characteristics) and moved on to the Snickers. The Snickers was delicious and so good, but just not quite what I needed because even though it tasted good, I was always sick (things just weren't working out). 

Through this experience (and knowing my allergies) I learned what is good for me and what I want.

I've realized that finding the "Right Man" can't just be about the glamorous caramel and nougat deliciousness. Instead, it must be good FOR me. So... now that I know my allergies, I know that I need a Mr. Goodbar. He doesn't have any of the lil guys in him that make me sick. 

Catching my chocolatey smelling aroma filled drift?

Sometimes you can eat great candy bars (date really awesome delicious men) but the fit just isn't right according to the alignment of the stars. And that's ok. 

Be ok with what's good and right for you. 

Eat a Mr. Goodbar. 

XOXO

Rules Girl

Rules Girl of the week... football kicker AND homecoming queen!

PINCKNEY, Mich. (WJBK) - She's the first girl to kick on Pinckney's varsity football team. On Friday night, Brianna Amat kicked a 31-yard game-winning field goal and was crowned homecoming queen on the same night.

Read the whole story here:

http://www.myfoxdetroit.com/dpp/news/ron_savage/%22kicking-queen%22-hits-31-yard-field-goal

Go girl. 

XOXO

Rules Girl

Do you get a kick out of them?

Of course I'm not talking about a domestic abuse dispute, that's awful.

I mean, do they make you giggle, chuckle, LOL? They don't have to be funny per se, but do you find yourself happy and laughing often around them because THEY are funny. It's healthy. You should think the things they do or say are cute enough to giggle about. You SHOULD get a kick out of them.

So... go get a kick.

These are my favorite versions of "I get a kick out you"

This one is slower and more romantical for that special someone and some candlelight...

This one's more upbeat. Dance cheek to cheek to this one.

 

well he's getting a kick outta somethin'...

xoxo

Rules Girl

Shout out to Anonymous!

I just wanted to give a shout out to Anonymous for her amazing comment. So that all of you can see, I made it into a post itself:

Comment In response to blog:  Desperado. PLEASE come to your senses.

"So true!! Wish I'd had a friend tell me this about 6 years ago when I was wasting YEARS with a guy who was a chauvinistic jerk; emotionally abusive, jealous, manipulative, the whole bit.
Why did I do it? I HAVE NO IDEA! But you mentioned having a relationship just to HAVE a relationship... and that sadly seems to be hitting the nail on the head. It smarts, but I now think that may have been it. Hindsight, oi.
I hope that a lot of girls read your post and save themselves the frustration, wasted time, and yes, the wrinkles. :)
My dating story ended VERY happily with a wonderful man, but I don't think that is usually the case, and my heart aches for those less lucky."

Thanks Anonymous - us RG's appreciate your support and comments.
Don't be desperado. Don't just want a relationship just to have one. Get your mind off the man, and start improving yourself and loving your life. 
It'll be amazing how he just appears after you do.

XOXO

Rules Girl

Saudi Arabia: women the right to vote

"Saudi Arabia is perhaps the most sex-segregated place on earth, a country where women can do little without a male chaperon and are not allowed to drive." - TIME 

Credit for photo and story to: TIME Read more: http://globalspin.blogs.time.com/2011/09/26/saudi-women-get-the-vote-but-real-power-is-elusive/#ixzz1ZBJAAOBn

I'm hoping this is a step forward for women in Saudi Arabia. Saudi is of special interest to me because my cousins lived there as kids. My Aunt expressed the hardships of living there with two small children, especially having a blond, blue-eyed little girl. I watch for their success in furthering the rights of women and hope that the MEN can do THEIR part in helping make this change possible. I post this to Rules Girl because we are all in this together as women around the world. 

XOXO

Rules Girl

Desperado. PLEASE come to your senses.

Desperado.
Please come to your senses http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BwOXlGbW6Q

because you're driving me crazy.

Ever had a friend that was treating herself (yes herself) poorly by dating the same guy over and over and over and over even though he isn't great to her and she's not even that wonderful to him? bleck, how frustrating. So what do you do when this is YOUR friend? You don't want to sever your relationship between you and her, but she also needs to know she's being outrageous and ridiculous. Now, I'm not saying that your friend is just wondering if she likes him and trying to work it all out, I mean she's drama and he's even MORE drama. They break up, get back together, break up, get back together, cheat on each other, break up, get back together and then cheat again. It's toxic. It's nauseating, it's disgusting. THIS is not what relationships are for (just to HAVE). Relationships are supposed to make you happy, giggle, smile, laugh, dance when nobody is looking, and cry because you're so full of gratitude for your life and the people in it.

If this is you, or you have a friend in this type of toxic relationship, be honest with THEM or be honest with yourself. If you address this to your friend, then be kind when you do it and remind them that it's their life and you're not trying to tell them what to do, but instead the next time they are crying on your shoulder about the same ole same ole toxicity... you can bring up, maybe it would be hard to break up, but better in the long. Maybe tell her that she doesn't want to gain all her wrinkles too fast. 

She doesn't want to be this Barbie (thanks to Ingrid Michaelson for posting) ------>

She wants to be the pretty, beautiful (inside and out), no baggage, no wrinkles at age 24  barbie...

Try and hint to your friend, that she shouldn't be desperate for a relationship. It's not about being IN a relationship, about the person you're in it with.

Good luck. If you have a friend like this, maybe give her a link to The Rules Girl. She can turn over a new leaf, like a lot of us have.

XOXO

Rules Girl