It's not about the rules themselves. It's about the mindset. We don't sit around staring at a list or rules... we merely utilize this wordage to portray the mindset of he'll like you if he likes you, he'll date you if he dates you. Men will forever be the hunters. If they don't have to work for it... do they really want it? Let them take the lead. In the meantime do your thang.
The Rules Girl goal is... Happiness. We recognize that relationships can bring both great joy or great sorrow so therefore, we strive only for relationships that bring us happiness.
Just because Rules Girls are tough, that doesn't mean we don't ever wonder "what's been goin' on?" about past flames, lovers, etc etc etc...
Don't forget to FEEL Rules Girls. Yes, we believe in the ability to control our thoughts and feelings to some extent, but we also believe in the health that comes from feeling. So if you are having a couple wondering thoughts about "what's been goin' on?" it's ok. Feel it for a sec, let it soak.
THEN... ring it out, stop wondering... and get on girl. You got it.
Welp. If you aren't hearing from them=no news is probably bad news. Not to depress you or anything, but really......... and don't give in! Don't be the one to contact him. You want someone that wants YOU! If he isn't contacting you, he's probably not interested. If you're going through the weird sporadic-contact situation, then I would almost take it one more step and say that some news, but not a whole lot is probably not great news either. Yea, he could be busy, and you're busy too... but if he really likes you, the contact will not wane too much. No News is Bad News by Dashboard Confessional
I'm not saying you should be seeing each other or even calling/texting/chatting everyday... I'm just saying that no news is probably bad news. It sucks to have another one bite the dust, I get it. But take it like a ... woMan you got this.
XOXO Rules Girl
oh and ps. of course there is an exception to every rule... but Rules Girls are not desperately trying to claim to be the exception why? because we don't DO desperate.
Don't call mepal,buddy, bud, or friend as you just shot me into auto-friend zone (ew). That may have been your intention (which is fine if I'm utterly creepy in your fine opinion)... HOWEVER, if you have any inclination that you could see yourself dating me in the future, never use such foul language. As it's implications are strong and almost forever lasting.
Moral of the post, don't use foul language... you could want to date me (ok, or them or whatever context you want to use) in the future, and ruined it by auto-shooting it into the friend zone with your foul langauge.
Don't call me your pal, because A. I'm not. and B. I don't want to be.
If we don't like you, we're not going to pretend that we do. (we might not be 100% sold on the idea, but we won't mess with you...) If we don't want to date you anymore,we'll tell you why (nicely/tactfully, but truthfully). If we don't want to see that movie but we know you really want to (we'll go, but we don't have to love it or do this for you every weekend) If we are craving Cafe Rio and you want Wendy's (both excellent choices by the way), we're going to tell you and we'll talk it out. Rules Girls have a verystrict honesty policy because we are always true to who we are. We aren't very good "people pleasers" because that's clearly unhealthy.
YES. We won't do anymore than that... sorry buddy. I would almost even apply Hitch's 90/10 kissing rule to the whole shenanigan. Of course we are going to reciprocate, that's our job...
but NEVER go farther than half way. Black Eyed Peas Gets it:
Meet me halfway, XOXO Rules Girl
ps. notice in the background of this song that you can hear the background to Yeah Yeah Yeah's Maps... listen at 1:50.
Your skirt storyreminded me of a this situation... Girl meets boy at a party. They begin chatting - the laundry list (where are you from, do you know, where'd you go to school, where do you work, blah blah blah). The conversation is speckled with supposed "selling points" for this guy: "I own a 3500 square foot house" "I got my masters in {whatever}" "I drive a {insert expensive car}" Guess what, gents? Rules girls don't care, are not impressed and assume you are overcompensating for something: lack of confidence, lack if intelligence, being shallow, or whatever.
Rules girls want substance, someone who's real, and someone not full of themselves. Save your selling points for your job interviews or for the girls who are looking for someone as shallow as they are.
Sincerely, Wants Substance
thank you for your letters! if YOU have something to say, e-mail therulesgirl@gmail.com.
Sometimes Rules Girls just need a breather, to take a walk in the park.
Life is busy with love, decisions, work, and the everyday yadda yadda, so being the emotionally and physically healthy Rules Girl that you are... don't forget to take those Walks in the Park.
Man of the week: MARK (who made this awesome video of NYC)
No no no... A Rules Girl doesn't live through Rom-Com quixotic ideals. I don't slap guys I KNOW they don't read minds and I especially don't expect anyone to be perfect.
The rules aren't a life of ridiculous standards and romantic ideals. However... Rules Girls don't sit around waiting for life and especially men to come to them. Want to know the secrets of a Rules Girl?
check it out.
HAVE A QUESTION YOU NEED ANSWERED? Send it my way at therulesgirl@gmail.com and I'll post it on my blog.
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