Rule #42: Facilitate

Rules Girls don't ask guys on dates... but we sure facilitate them in doing so.
There are many ways to facilitate...(way more than I suggest, just thought I'd throw these out there)

1. Talk to him (obvi), get to know him through attending things he does and chatting with him. However, don't smother him and follow him around. Feel out his response. If you don't ever talk to the guy, don't expect him to do a whole lot.
2. "Finding" a date for an event with other friends or for a work event is different than asking a guy on a date. This can be ulitized to get to know someone better and show them you have a little interest in doing so.

3. Invite them to something fun you're doing with a group of people (kind of sounds like #1, but not as formal) however, only do this once or twice and then call it quits because the ball needs to be in his court. What girl doesn't want a balla'?

4. Say, I totally want to _____. See what happens from there. If he doesn't get the hint, he's probs not smart enough for you anyway.

Remember that facilitating is not doing the work for the guy, but encouraging the work to be done.

However, if you went on a few dates in the past, and he hasn't been giving the feelers back at you, then he's not interested anymore. Sometimes that happens :( Cheer up sad face, because you're a Rules Girl. Your life is determined not by what you get, but what you put into it.

XOXO

Rules Girl

RG Rant: Stop being ridiculous it's getting on my nerves

I'm serious, I've had enough. Every time I hear about it I to scream in sadness and rage for those who think this way... If I hear one more comment about how someone feels like they should be "married with children by now", or that they "just won't be happy until they're married, dating someone, etc etc" I will gouge some kind of something out of something or other. I can't take it, you MUST stop. You're hurting my insides, and offended my gender and all that we are.
Don't you understand there is something else for you in store? Do you NOT recognize that you have so much to offer and to be grateful for? Being a mother, a girlfriend, a wife is such a worthy role, but let Life, God, Fate... whatever you believe in... guide you the best way It, He, They... will and do. Or so YOU believe, remember?
What guy wants a girl that is unhappy in her life situation as it is and can't not only make the best of her situation, but LOVE it? None worth having.
No guy wants a whiney, needy, wannabe-something-other-than-I-am-all-the-time girl. If you aren't happy now, you won't be happy then. So I guess... you're just going to have to be miserable and negative for the rest of time whether with a man or not. So please leave me alone and never mention it again because I can't take it. Shed your negativity on someone who doesn't like or trust Life, God, and/or the Fates to give them what they need and is best for the time being.

Please... for YOU...Go be great (and happy)... and love it.

XOXO
Rules Girl

Rule #7: If you don't love him anymore...

THEN LEAVE THE POOR GUY ALONE!!!!!
Ian Axel said it nicely with this song...


If you don't love/like the guy anymore... let the poor guy loose. Let him move on. Make a clean split, say goodbye... go hurt because your lonely, but let him be.

XOXO
Rules Girl

Shhhhhhhhhhhhh don't tell

You're not supposed to tell boys about THE RULES.

ESPECIALLY not the ones you're dating or WANT to date...
why? A. they might be an unbeliever of some sort... and B. you don't tell the opposing team your strategy!

credibility statement: I clearly made this up out of thin air...

Group 1: The Unbelievers
They think you're crazy and high maintenance with way too high of expectations when it comes to dating. (they may also be lazy or non-committal, but let's give them the benefit of the doubt and just call them unbelievers) The reason they think this way is they don't understand themselves and have never dated a guy before. Thankfully for us, there are few of these.
Group 2: The Cowards
The kind that aren't quite sure and will never admit that they like to be the man. They haven't quite come to terms with their "Role" in the whole dating game. Sometimes these kind laugh at the rules, even though they know that they wish the girl would do it...these kind are really annoying. These are often "players". ick. Unfortunately, there are quite a few of these ones.
Group 3: The Chosen
These are our favorites. These ones are aware of how the dating game goes and wish girls would actually live by them but would NEVER tell the girl they like this fact or HOW to live The Rules (they would only tell their girlfriends, therefore... me). These are your best guy friends (but not guycessories) that will be completely honest with you about how it all works...they're the best ones to talk to about such things. HOWEVER, that doesn't mean you need to tell them all the rules. You can however utilize them for your personal research and analysis. Watch they way they date girls, why they end up breaking up with them... you'll see what I mean... They are The Rules Girls CHOSEN. baha.

shhhh keep our secrets between you and me.

XOXO
Rules Girl
ok let's be real, I don't care if you tell... I'm just sayin' sometimes they don't quite get it or get the wrong idea. Might as well keep your strategies to yourself...oh and clearly these groupings are generic and partially untrue, but again... you know what I'm sayin'.

Rule # 4: Do not claim territory that is not your own

You really need to stop "claiming" these guys as your territory, because they aren't yours to be claimed until you've gone on at LEAST a couple dates with them if not more, even then... claiming is weird. Just because he has struck your fancy, doesn't mean that he's YOURS and no other girl can talk, date, or smooch the guy.
Rules Girls are more like Lewis and Clark. We explore, we take our pal Sacajawea... but we aren't the one's claiming anything. See look they're checkin' stuff out.
Not like Governor Ratcliffe (remember him from Pocahontas?) We know how that ended up... boo.
Far too often girls have this weird claim on a guy, even if they barely talk to him. Then if a friend talks to him or gets asked out by him, they get all razzed. Well honey-buns, take it easy... breathe a little because he's not your prize to be wanted*. He's fair game until you're smoochin' or at least have been on a few dates with the guy. Then it's common-girl-sense to back off...
Rules Girls are not jealous creatures, we have a healthy emotional-logical balance of dating and of life (majority of the time, we all have wig-outs). We recognize that if he's not asking us out, he's probs just not that into us. If he asks out our friend and she likes him we are a little sad inside but will be happy for them both because our turn will come, and there is always more land to be exploring (never discount Antarctica - metaphor intended).

You aren't Governor Ratcliffe, so take it easy and just be the Lewis & Clark you truly are...

XOXO
Rules Girl

*name that movie

Rule # 6,588: See him in all forms

When dating, it is pertinent that you see your lover in all forms before becoming some level of serious. My mom used to say, "before you decide anything, go shopping with him". She's a wise woman. I mean think about it.

Is this not a clear indicator of some important relational virtues? Patience for instance? How much money he's willing to spend on you (baha jk), how he gives compliments, how he whines... the list goes on and on... and on.
Another form in which you must see your man... is in a bad mood and angry...This is the least fun. You have to witness how they handle things, but even more scary... you should see how they are when mad at YOU, and one step further... how you FIGHT. yikes.
Third, you must travel with him. People are totally different on trips. Do they like to be in charge? Do they like to organize it all, or is that your thing? Do they like to go on vacations that are beachy or site-see-ey? Do they like to sleep in and you like to get up and get an early start?

Last and most importantly - your man must see you when you have a cold, and you must see how he handles it. Ya know, all snot-faced... tissues everywhere, eyes watering. No matter how hard you try, you just dont' have the energy to be cute. How did he treat you?


See them in all forms,

XOXO
Rules Girl

there are many many more forms of course... these are just a few. More could be: at the gym, around people you don't like, with kids, etc etc etc. What do you think?

Rule # 532 (2.0): Take it One DATE at a time...

Ok, so we've already covered the first aspect of this rule (see below)...
PART TWO is that if you have the tendency to be a "freak-out dater" and get a little anxious about dating then you need to follow Rule #532. (2.0) and just take it one date at a time. One THING at a time. Do not think about your children's names before you know his dog's name. Do not start freaking out because he has different interests than you (he's a boy, you're a girl... HELLO!). Do not start thinking you couldn't marry them because they don't wear good shoes, or their hair is horrible... it happens.
YOU get what I'm sayin' cuz you're a smart girl.
So IF you're a date-freaker-outer. Just take it on date at a time. See how you feel after each date and go from there.

For that's what dating is all about.
You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself about... that's what it's all about

XOXO
Rules Girl